Funny Stuff

I've collected a fair amount of humorous material over the years. Note that there is some duplication of entries, some items fit in more than one category.

Disclaimer: I didn't write it, I just found it.

This information is in the process of being reorganized and updated. New files are added on a regular basis.

Computers and Technology

Real Programmers play the same way they work.... with computers. Not only that, they tell jokes about them, too.

Pentium Floating Point
- The Grinch and the Pentium: A Christmastime Tale.
- 2000.99998451: A Numerical Odyssey.
Analogies and Comparisons
- What if Airlines Flew Planes the way Computer Companies write Operating Systems.
- What if Brewers Brewed Beer the way Computer Companies write Operating Systems.
- What if Carmakers Built Cars the way Computer Companies write Operating Systems.
- What if Carmakers Built Cars according to Networking Protocols.
- What if Microsoft made Cars.
- Windows 95 meets Jesus of Nazareth.
- What If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers.
Microsoft and PCs
- A DOS-based nursery rhyme.
- What if Microsoft made Cars.
- The Tale of the Pea Sea.
Miscellaneous
- A Guide to Software Revisions.
- How to Determine if Technology has Taken Over your Life.
- Ten Reasons Why Santa is a System Administrator.
- A Networkologist's Christmas.
- Two Digits for a Date, an ode to the Year 2000 problem.

Political Correctness

I'm a victim, you're a victim, she's a victim,
Wouldn't you like to be a victim too...
Be a victim,
Go sue somebody...

The Politically Correct Night Before Christmas.
The Twelve Polically Correct Gifts of Christmas.
Towards the Politically Correct Operating System.
On Charity and Justice.

Christmas

Don't look a gift hippopotamus in the mouth, or question the metaphysical impossibility of Santa Claus.

Christmas faced with corporate downsizing.
The Politically Correct Night Before Christmas.
The Twelve Polically Correct Gifts of Christmas.
Is There Really a Santa Claus?
...and a Rebuttal.
Merry Christmas from the Legal Department.
Ten Reasons Why Santa is a System Administrator.
A Networkologist's Christmas.
The Night Before A Soldier's Christmas.
A story of how a tablecloth leads to the reunion of a long-separated couple at Christmastime.

Star Trek

Just about the only show worth watching on TV today ...

What if Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek.
An Ode to Spot, by Data from Star Trek.

Dr. Seuss

Studies have shown that those who were read Dr. Seuss books during their early years are much more likely to know what a Zans is.

What if Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek.
What If Dr. Seuss took up technical writing.
OJ Simpson's Seuss Defense.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas reworded for the World Trade Center tragedy.

Analogies and Comparisons

Apples and oranges, Apples and PCs, what would life be like without comparisons...

Bill Clinton and Adolf Hitler.
Why Serving Time in Prison is better than Working at a Job.

OJ Simpson

Hey, we had to suffer through that interminable trial, so we might as well laugh about it.

The Menu at the OJ Simpson Diner.
OJ's Seuss Defense.

Children

Who else would ask who takes care of everything when God goes on vacation, or notice that the Emperor has no clothes?

Things I Learned From My Children.
Kids talk to God.
Students restate parts of the Bible in their own words.
Real school absense notes.
Students reveal their wisdom in written essays.
Kids' Thoughts on Love and Valentines.
Kids' Ideas on Science.
A Parent's Dictionary.

Religion

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

The many ways of interpreting a stop sign.
Kids talk to God.
Students restate parts of the Bible in their own words.
Biblically Correct Ways to Find a Wife.
One Person's Experience with Mormon Missionaries.
The Three Trees.
Church Bulletin Gaffes.
On Charity and Justice.
How the phrase He Who Has The Most Toys... would be completed by various religions and philosophies.
How many members of different denominations it takes to change a light bulb?
How would major Biblical figures stack up when considered for a pastorate.
A story of how a tablecloth leads to the reunion of a long-separated couple at Christmastime.

Miscellaneous

Some jokes defy comprehension. These defy classification.

What this country needs to go with the Bill of Rights is a Bill of No Rights.
The Cartoon Laws of Physics.
Observations on a Glass of Milk.
1994's Most Bizarre Suicide.
Here's one way out of a traffic ticket.
Employerspeak and applicantspeak: The language of job ads and resumes.
Stupid Human Tricks with Animals at Yellowstone National Park.
Press Release: House to Downsize Solar System.
English is a Crazy Language.
A Call for More Scientific Truth in Product Warning Labels.
How Not To Hunt Ducks in the Wintertime.
If you think you've had a bad day....
Letters Actually Received by Public Assistance Agencies.
A science experiment asks the question: How Gullible Are We?
Dumb Questions Asked of Librarians.

Humor at Other Sites

The Stupid Criminal Hall of Shame.
Mistakes to Avoid if you want to be a successful Evil Overlord.

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